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I think to myself

I think I have determined that it is the incongruity of our situation that makes it hard-ish at times.

One day, everyone is doing pretty good.  Everyone is happy, content, satisfied...you can almost hear the hum of a life of ease in the distance of the day...and...I think to myself...things aren't so bad after-all.  We can do this.

The next day, it all seems to fall apart.  Everyone is sick with something, new symptoms crop up, there are more questions than answers...and...I think to myself...we are never going to survive this!

One day, Spencer is sending video clips of him with all the energy in the world, the next day...flat out, hardly able to breathe.

One day, Sam is enjoying life, no complaints, everything is great in his world, but the next day, his mouth is filled with sores...a horrible drop in white cells and neutropenia is setting in worse than ever.

One day, Shelbie is busy, working, happy, content and everything is great in her  world and the next day, she is completely out of energy, sleeps for 12 hours during the day after getting 10 hours of sleep the night before.

And...I think to myself.

Remember, I've been prepared for this moment...dig deep.  Reach.  Stretch.  There are angels here.  it's all going to work out.  Somehow.  Someday.  Maybe not this day...but some day.

Tomorrow is an IVIG day for Shelbie.  How is that another month has come and gone? Spencer has developed the new symptom of vomiting at random times and random places with random food he has eaten. I'm not sure what to think of this.  Getting a deep breath when he is trying to sleep is harder and harder than before.   And because that isn't enough, he has injured his shoulder.  It is drooping out of the socket as the doctor says...He meets with the surgeon on Monday.  I'm betting the rotator cuff is torn.

And I think to myself...



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