Father's Day

Father's Day marks the last of the run on 'hard' holidays to celebrate.  Why?  Well, today marks 10 years I've been divorced.  

Mother's day was the day he told me it was over.  Father's day, it was final. 
We did what most divorce couples do...follow a strict visitation schedule set up by some random judge. 

This year, things have been different.  He is divorced now, from his second wife.  She always hated the kids and I and hated the idea of being nice and civil to people.  Now that they are divorced, things are different for our family. 

 We spent Christmas Day together as a family.   We spent New Year's Eve together as a family. We spent Mother's Day together as a family.  Today, he invited me over to have dinner with all his nieces and nephews and of course our kids.   I have not been feeling very good yesterday or today so I just went over for a short time.

Before I left, Shelbie was saying how it feels weird that we do so much together.  She thinks that people who see us think it's weird too. She even thinks that the nieces and nephews find it odd.  Maybe they do.  Maybe it is.

But...here's the thing.  I would much rather do something out of the ordinary, even weird, than to feed contention and harbor anger.

It's better for the kids that we get along.  I don't see anything wrong with trying to be friends.  When I tell my kids that they need to be kind and loving and forgiving of people, tolerant and accepting...I mean it.  Those aren't just nice words I throw out there hoping they will stumble upon and find a good fit with.  It's important that I practice what I preach.

I realize that it may seem unconventional.  I told a client of my plans for Father's Day and she couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that we would spend time together.  I imagine that is the reaction from most people.

This brings me to my next point...and the answer is no.  People wonder if this means we are reconciling.  No.  The answer is no.  I don't see that happening but I do hope that when he settles down again, we can continue to be friends.  Nothing was worse than the anger and contention we suffered for many years.  It's better to be a peacemaker, to be kind and helpful...just as you would be to any friend.

So...this is my unconventional journey.  We don't seem to meet the proverbial standards on anything!  Oh well...such is life.

I'm glad to be celebrating Father's day.  I'm glad I was able to talk to my own dad who has been a great example of Fatherhood, providing and protecting his family.  He has been a great grandpa to my kids too.  I love seeing how much my kids love their grandparents!



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