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Another shoe drops

I think there should be a Heavenly rule that enables all mothers of chronically ill children to have perfect health and endless energy...and a money tree to have at their disposal.

It's not fun when the mom is sick.  As the mom, it's really not fun and I am not amused.

I haven't felt well for probably 6 months.  I have been so tired which isn't a huge surprise since I whine about it all the time here...but my pain has been increased and just some odd things that I pretended I wasn't dealing with and never mentioned.

Well, things have been getting worse.  Over the past couple of weeks, it's been increasingly more difficult to make my hands work and the pain has been constant and severe.  Things have to be pretty bad for me to cave and go to the doctor and last Saturday, they were pretty bad.  So, I forced myself to the urgent care early in the morning.

He took some x-rays of my hands and found that I have basically lost the joint in my thumbs.  Both thumbs.  I wish I had a picture of that x-ray, it was pretty shocking.  You normally have a small space between each joint and mine is totally gone, no space, just bone. The doctor ran some blood work to see if we can figure out what is happening.

I left there pretty upset because he asked me to take a couple of weeks to a month off from work to give my hands a break and see if we can get things to calm down.  That would be an impossible feat! As a single mom, it would be completely impossible to not work for even a day!

I tried not to worry.  I tried to stay in the moment and do what needed to be done.  I worked.  I worked but I promised him I would keep my thumbs immobilized.  Try doing ANYTHING without using your thumbs.  I may as well just be a dog!

So, as if that wasn't bad enough...last night, the nurse called with test results.  It's not looking good folks.  All my blood counts are pretty low, below normal kind of low.  My red blood cells are low, hemoglobin, hematacrit, white cells...there is trouble brewing.  I'm kind of freaked out!   Even my kids have better counts than me at this point!!!

The nurse said he didn't want to say yet what he thinks is going on.  He sent away for more testing to find the source of the problem.  Generally speaking, we are looking at anything from Lupus to Cancer.  I don't want either or anything in between!!!  I need to be here for my kids!  

Now we wait...maybe til Monday!  Arghhh....I love waiting and being patient.  It's one of my best qualities...SAID NO ONE EVER!!

The only positive thing I can find to say about this situation is I'm glad I'm not crazy and the fatigue and general feeling of being unwell is not all in my head.  If you don't have enough blood, you're not going to feel so hot!

This morning, I started my strict alkaline diet.  Bleh!  For breakfast, I had a glass of baking soda water, a glass of apple cider vinegar and a smoothie of fresh strawberries, pineapple and water.  For lunch I will eat lettuce and for dinner I will hit up some more lettuce with a cauliflower chaser and then another glass of baking soda water and finish the night with a snack of pure, unadulterated lemon juice.  I may as well just squeeze it straight into my mouth and not dirty another cup!  When I'm not indulging in such amazing culinary wonders, I will be drinking 70 ounces of water and some Vitamin C and Magnesium.

I have to get better!  I have to shake this off, whatever it is.



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