Tis the Season to be Jolly
Is it?
I haven't felt all that jolly this week, I didn't feel super jolly last week either. Christmas is just days away now. My Christmas tree is already looking tired and weary, when I give it a sideways glance.
I had big plans. I always have big plans; running from one plan to another without considering the cost. Some of those plans included my notebook of studying Christ's life that I wanted so badly to become stories for an inspirational Christmas countdown on the blog.
Shelbie hasn't been feeling well for more than week. She sleeps a lot; 16-18 hours of sleep. She had planned our family, Ugly Christmas Sweater party and all the cousins were invited. It actually turned out to be a great little party. She made it through just fine.
Monday morning was the usual. I headed out early for my last day of house cleaning. At 9:45 I got a call from Shelbie that I missed because I turn my phone off when I'm cleaning. At 10:10, I saw that she had called and called her right back. In a very weak voice, she said, "MOM". That was it. I knew something was wrong. I left right away and drove as fast as I could back home. I found her laying on the floor by the front door. She was so dizzy, she couldn't even move her head a millimeter without extreme dizziness and nausea. I tried for several minutes to get her off the floor but she could hardly move. I called 911, if for nothing else, they could help me get her back into bed. I had no intention of having her transported to the hospital but as they were taking her vitals and checking her over, I felt strongly that she needed to be in the hospital.
After several minutes of the paramedics trying to stabilize her, they too felt she needed to be transported. It took three of them to get her on the stretcher. I followed behind in my car.
The short story version is that Shelbie has swelling in her brain on the left side and the swelling and inflammation were creating pressure on the nerves by her ear that controls the equilibrium. The doctor isn't sure why her brain is swelling but guesses she has a virus. Personally, I think she has been having swarms of seizures. This is the second time this year she has had swelling in her brain so that isn't normal.
We stayed in the ER all day long. They kept the fluids going as well as IV anti-inflammatory meds, pain meds and a medication for the vertigo.
I'm tired and little irritated that it seems all I do is watch my kids suffer and doctors sit by and do nothing. I guess, it made me feel a little put upon, and Grinch-y.
She is doing a little better but not by much. She has had to use a walker to get anywhere because her balance is way off. I had to switch around our sleeping arrangements so she can be on the main floor and close to the bathroom.
So, anyways...I happened upon an excerpt from Jeffrey R. Hollands essay he wrote about his dying father on Christmas Day, in his book 'Shepherds, why this jubilee?' He was feeling slighted at what we think 'should' be a season free from trouble, much like myself, in some moments.
It made me stop and think about my own attitude...
He refers to this inspiration he received, as a tiny Christmas declaration...a rebuke from God.
"You can’t separate Bethlehem from Gethsemane or the hasty flight into Egypt from the slow journey to the summit of Calvary. It’s of one piece. It is a single plan. It considers ‘the fall and rising again of many in Israel,’ but always in that order. Christmas is joyful not because it is a season or decade or lifetime without pain and privation, but precisely because life does hold those moments for us. And that baby, my son, my own beloved and Only Begotten Son in the flesh, born ‘away in a manger, [with] no crib for his bed,’ makes all the difference in the world, all the difference in time and eternity, all the difference everywhere, worlds without number, a lot farther than your eye can see.”
The world has made Christmas what it is...a calendar full of parties, laughter, happy moments gathering with friends and family, things we want and things we need all wrapped in fancy paper with trailing ribbons of joy.
God intended something different for Christmas. A calendar full of service opportunities, smiles offered up to strangers. Friends and family gather to help the weak and weary. But then, there's more...sad times, troubled times, despairing times, the times when all we can do is reach His reaching...even at Christmas time, a time such as this. And still, God gives us the things we want and the things we need and it is all wrapped up for us in the swaddling of an infant Son, born away from anything resembling home, with trailing ribbons of eternity.
And this is what Christmas is. It's the whole package. One beautiful package. A rise and a fall. It's when we set this gift down, that we lose sight of that beautiful star that leads us along, whether in the valley of sorrow or the mount of joy.
I haven't felt all that jolly this week, I didn't feel super jolly last week either. Christmas is just days away now. My Christmas tree is already looking tired and weary, when I give it a sideways glance.
I had big plans. I always have big plans; running from one plan to another without considering the cost. Some of those plans included my notebook of studying Christ's life that I wanted so badly to become stories for an inspirational Christmas countdown on the blog.
Shelbie hasn't been feeling well for more than week. She sleeps a lot; 16-18 hours of sleep. She had planned our family, Ugly Christmas Sweater party and all the cousins were invited. It actually turned out to be a great little party. She made it through just fine.
Monday morning was the usual. I headed out early for my last day of house cleaning. At 9:45 I got a call from Shelbie that I missed because I turn my phone off when I'm cleaning. At 10:10, I saw that she had called and called her right back. In a very weak voice, she said, "MOM". That was it. I knew something was wrong. I left right away and drove as fast as I could back home. I found her laying on the floor by the front door. She was so dizzy, she couldn't even move her head a millimeter without extreme dizziness and nausea. I tried for several minutes to get her off the floor but she could hardly move. I called 911, if for nothing else, they could help me get her back into bed. I had no intention of having her transported to the hospital but as they were taking her vitals and checking her over, I felt strongly that she needed to be in the hospital.
After several minutes of the paramedics trying to stabilize her, they too felt she needed to be transported. It took three of them to get her on the stretcher. I followed behind in my car.
The short story version is that Shelbie has swelling in her brain on the left side and the swelling and inflammation were creating pressure on the nerves by her ear that controls the equilibrium. The doctor isn't sure why her brain is swelling but guesses she has a virus. Personally, I think she has been having swarms of seizures. This is the second time this year she has had swelling in her brain so that isn't normal.
We stayed in the ER all day long. They kept the fluids going as well as IV anti-inflammatory meds, pain meds and a medication for the vertigo.
I'm tired and little irritated that it seems all I do is watch my kids suffer and doctors sit by and do nothing. I guess, it made me feel a little put upon, and Grinch-y.
She is doing a little better but not by much. She has had to use a walker to get anywhere because her balance is way off. I had to switch around our sleeping arrangements so she can be on the main floor and close to the bathroom.
So, anyways...I happened upon an excerpt from Jeffrey R. Hollands essay he wrote about his dying father on Christmas Day, in his book 'Shepherds, why this jubilee?' He was feeling slighted at what we think 'should' be a season free from trouble, much like myself, in some moments.
It made me stop and think about my own attitude...
He refers to this inspiration he received, as a tiny Christmas declaration...a rebuke from God.
"You can’t separate Bethlehem from Gethsemane or the hasty flight into Egypt from the slow journey to the summit of Calvary. It’s of one piece. It is a single plan. It considers ‘the fall and rising again of many in Israel,’ but always in that order. Christmas is joyful not because it is a season or decade or lifetime without pain and privation, but precisely because life does hold those moments for us. And that baby, my son, my own beloved and Only Begotten Son in the flesh, born ‘away in a manger, [with] no crib for his bed,’ makes all the difference in the world, all the difference in time and eternity, all the difference everywhere, worlds without number, a lot farther than your eye can see.”
The world has made Christmas what it is...a calendar full of parties, laughter, happy moments gathering with friends and family, things we want and things we need all wrapped in fancy paper with trailing ribbons of joy.
God intended something different for Christmas. A calendar full of service opportunities, smiles offered up to strangers. Friends and family gather to help the weak and weary. But then, there's more...sad times, troubled times, despairing times, the times when all we can do is reach His reaching...even at Christmas time, a time such as this. And still, God gives us the things we want and the things we need and it is all wrapped up for us in the swaddling of an infant Son, born away from anything resembling home, with trailing ribbons of eternity.
And this is what Christmas is. It's the whole package. One beautiful package. A rise and a fall. It's when we set this gift down, that we lose sight of that beautiful star that leads us along, whether in the valley of sorrow or the mount of joy.
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