Today, we did this...

My kids reminded me of this last night and I knew I had to change my attitude this morning. 

Sam spent most of the night with the room spinning.  He spent most of the morning and early afternoon on the couch trying to keep his dizziness at bay.  It was only affecting him when he exerted any energy but he got up anyways and went to his 8 hour shift at work without complaint.

I couldn't help but think that I'm glad the nurses called yesterday to keep him on two more weeks of restrictions.  As hard as yesterday was for him to digest that news, today it made sense. 

Spencer made it home tonight.  He was able to secure two video jobs so he's here for a couple of days.  I'm just glad to see him.  It's hard to see him still sick but in his usual fashion, he shows up everyday, ready for whatever comes and doesn't complain.

Shelbie too, continues to power through her work day.  She has to stop to rest often and she is still having days with seizure activity that wipes her out but she has accepted this new normal and gets through.  We have begun the weaning of her driving privileges.  I let her drive very short distances in the neighborhood but anything longer, one of us will take her or go with her.  She has two really good friends who have been going to all of her photo shoots on locations.  It has not only helped in our driving situation but no one even asked them which is a tender mercy.  It just seems to work out and they enjoy watching her work and even helping with props and making kids smile.

So, I couldn't let my own kids who are constantly getting up and moving on, show me up.  I hobbled my way back to the gym on Monday afternoon and I made it there again today.  Most of my joints are taped and braced but I'm determined to not let this flare in my AS or Lupus be the end of me.  I did however, have to wear my statement shirt just because...I think I'm so funny.

Monday night at work, my boss was there late.  She is taking care of her husband who has advanced staging of bone cancer, so like all caregivers, she works crazy hours sometimes, to get the work done.  She was talking about her challenges and difficulties and how to manage when doctors say...'Well, your blood work looks great!' even though they are puking up blood and can't breathe...they get sent home.  We swapped stories and it felt so good to share each other's load and realize how much we understand each other. 

She asked, "Do you ever just feel trapped?"
"Trapped?  Do IIIIII ever feel TRAPPED?  Like a Chilean Miner!"

Sometimes, all you can do is laugh and then cry and then laugh-cry about your situation.  I guess sometimes all you need to do is show up.  Be willing to show up and make the best of it.  It is really hard for me to face the future right now but I'll give it my best.

On a bright note...I get to make a visit to the dentist tomorrow afternoon.  You know what that means don't you?  A little down time with some happy gas!  Yep...everything is going to feel just fine tomorrow at about 1 pm.  Ha ha...Just let me have 25 quiet moments...that's all.


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