A lot at once

 Life has been happening fast around here.  Between working overtime and family stuff, it's been a crazy whirlwind of stuff.  

Sam and Cass have been married one month!  It has been a great month for them.  Yesterday when they came for dinner, I asked them the best part of being married and they both agreed it was the whole package they loved.  I know Sam is happiest when he is serving the ones he loves and has someone to take care of.  They are well matched and have already had to face some big adulting trials and I've been impressed with their patience and trust in Heavenly Father as they work through these new experiences. 

This week is a big week for Spencer and Ashtin.  Ashtin will be going through the temple tomorrow and they will be sealed on Saturday.  I feel blessed to be able to attend both of these special moments.  We had all the kids home this weekend for their cousin's wedding and it was so nice and I felt overwhelming gratitude and peace all weekend. 

Shelbie is not doing so well.  They've been adjusting her treatment schedule and trying to find the sweet spot where she feels okay but it's still working.  We've been trying a 6 week schedule but since doing that, she has really gone down hill.  Last week, she had a small stroke, or so it seemed.  It may have also been a big seizure or maybe that brain tumor has grown.  I wasn't with her when it happened.  A few weeks before that, she wasn't doing well neurologically.  Since then, it's been really bad.  She can't find words very easily.  Her sentences often come out jumbled.  She spent 10 minutes yesterday arguing with her cousin that the picture of the cow we have hanging in the family room, was a horse.  She was sure it was a horse.  She puts her clothes on backwards and tells the same story over and over again within a 30 minute window of time, without realizing it.  It has been like living with someone who has dementia, except of course, she doesn't live her anymore so that is frightening to me.  What if she forgets to turn off the oven?  What if she gets lost driving home? 

It makes me nervous to think what could be happening.  She is covered in a rash that just keeps spreading.  Two weeks ago, they thought it was MRSA.  I finally asked them to do a biopsy but they would only do a culture.  I argued about that the best I could, but lost.  Of course the culture came back negative for anything, yet here we are with a rash covering 2/3 of her body and it's nothing!  I asked again this morning if they would just biopsy it but they just want to add another medication to the mix.  I don't understand why doctors do this to people...guess instead of actually diagnosing the correct way. 

So, there's an interesting mix of life right now but on the whole, I feel hopeful and we continue to hang in there.  Most days, I have a great deal of faith and confidence and I am extremely grateful for that tender mercy and that I can rely on past experiences of trials to know that we will get through this and whatever else is coming.  At the same time, it can all feel overwhelming.  I'm grateful I get to be in the temple this week, twice.  It will be nice to escape the worries of the world for a time. 

I wanted to post about Sam's wedding when I had pictures to add.  Shelbie's been so sick and her computer died this weekend so she is behind on editing the photos.  But that post is coming.  Sam's wedding was one of the most beautiful, bitter moments of my life and one that I need to desperately get down on paper to have forever. 

I miss writing.   I need to do more of that here.  I finally feel like I am finding a way out of my fog and a potential new job that will change my life significantly...I hope.