So that's why?

It's a great day when one of God's little mysteries comes to light, don't you think?  That great day happened to me on Saturday!

Shelbie and her friends had their Friendsgiving.  It was a blazing success from what I hear.  After dinner, they wanted to go to Lava Hotsprings which is a little over an hour drive from home.  Since Shelbie still can't drive (which I've decided is dumb...another day, another story) I got to take them down.  It was dark when we left and even darker when we arrived.

The hot pools are outside and there are three large pools of natural springs, hot water.  They have some canopies over the pools, lights to create a nice little mood for soaking with 200 of your 'closest friends', (who probably hadn't showered on their way into the pool), on a 40 degree Saturday night.  The steam from the pools was heavy at times as the hot water met the cold night air.

I'm realizing that as I get older, my germaphobic tendancy gets worse or maybe it has nothing to do with my age and more to do with the fact that my germaphobic tendancy is just getting worse. I was ready to leave after about 5 minutes because as I looked across the pools with people crammed in there shoulder to shoulder, I was sicked out!  It looked like we were all simmering in a vat of human stew!   Bleh.  Gross!  It might not have been so bad if I hadn't already worn myself out trying to get changed in the women's restroom when there were 6" cracks between the dividers of the stalls.  What is the point to that? Makes me wonder if Peeping Tom designed those.  Sheesh!  People just look so much better with clothes on!  It was exhausting trying to keep pressed up against the door of the changing room so that no one could tell a human life was in there.  It's always embarrassing when someone catches a glimpse of you and the whole crowd leaves in droves, running and screaming for their life! For the record, all the women were complaining about the changing rooms!

Anyways, that's not the story here...but that paragraph just hit on several tales I could tell about my dysfunction!

So, I was sitting beside three people who were having the most entertaining conversation which I was thoroughly enjoying.  Now...they used some tasteless sort of words so if that offends you, turn back now!  I'm a big fan of calling body parts by the name science intended for them to be called, not what society has deemed an appropriate version. When I hear words like they used, it screeches in my ears, yet to change the words, all humor is lost.  So, here goes...

A guy and two girls were sitting there and these two girls, I judged to be about in their late twenties, early thirties.  They were a little rough around the edges, had a myriad of passions they felt inclined to needle into their skin and they had been greatly blessed in the way of curves.  I looked like Ethiopia next to them.  They probably could have mistaken me for the railing on the edge of the stairs.  I was afraid someone might trip over me! If I go there again, I'm going to put that orange reflective tape on the outline of my body to alert people that I'm there!  This is an important image to sear into your brain at this point in the story.

Girl one says: "I use to be so afraid of water and swimming!"
Girl two: "Really?  Why is that?"
Girl one:  "I don't know, I just felt like I could sink at any minute but then I got boobs and I wasn't scared anymore.  I just float now!  There's no way I could sink, even if I wanted to."
Girl two: " Oh, ya, I know what you mean! Boobs are God's way of saying 'You're going to make it!'

Oh my gosh!  The crazy thing is, this was a dead serious conversation!  They didn't laugh or even snicker.  No 'Ha ha' or 'LOL',  They just carried on to the next in depth topic.

But really, I think they unlocked the mystery of why I always feel like I'm drowning in life!  That must be it!

I was not blessed with the same message from God as they were...if you catch my drift!  My 'girls' are still in training!  They have been since I was 12.  I think my mom just took me on a pity trip to buy a training bra because all my friends needed one.  I didn't need one, nor did I want one but it seemed the culturally acceptable, hopeful thing to do! If you buy it they will come sort of thing... I didn't realize back then that she was actually buying me what she thought would become a life preserver.

  No one told me!  It's a shame I had to find this information out at nearly age 50, in a dark corner of a hot pool, some distance from home, by two total strangers I was stewing with in the steam!  That's just not how I wanted to find out!

Well, life isn't sink, you swim.



  1. Oh my goodness, I was totally laughing because this is how I think of myself, but not always seriously. LOL!!!


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