Here and There

Well, another week of waiting has come and gone.  I have continued to try hard to see the blessings amid the struggle.

Last week, I was asked to be the chorister in church.  I wanted so badly to say NO.  It's not that I don't want to serve but it's very hard for me be in large groups of people anymore, let alone standing up in front of a crowd doing something I haven't had that much experience in.  Not only that, the stress of trying to find a substitute if I have to be gone seemed more overwhelming than anything else.  I find, it's the little things that are sometimes harder to deal with than the big obvious things.

When I thought about doing this, I ended up swimming in a pool of anxiety and panic.  A number of times I picked up the phone to call and back out gracefully.

Today was my first day 'on the job' and I was not feeling joyful about it.  I sat there before the meeting started and a lady approached me.  She said, "Kathy, I had an experience with the Spirit this morning.  I need you to know that I will be available to take over for you at a moments notice if you ever have anything come up and can't be here.  Even if you call on me 1 minute before the meeting starts...I will be here to help you.  Is everything okay with you and your family?"

She had no clue what was going on with us.  Just another little reminder that God is mindful of our needs.

Shelbie has been having a harder and harder time with symptoms this weekend.  Today especially, has been harder for her.  She can hardly stay awake, she is in more pain and suffers from a lot of nausea and I think she has a fungal infection starting up.  I reminded her that for weeks while we waited for these appointments to get set, I think God sustained her health.  She has kept up a busy work schedule and has done many great things. I'm so glad she hasn't been suffering all these weeks.

All in all, she is doing well.  Just ready for answers.  All in all, I'm doing well.

I still find myself panicking over things going on my little worldy world here, yet calm and peaceful when I can tap into my spiritual world. One foot here, one foot there. I would rather not get caught up in the fear of what is coming but it happens.  For now...I'm going to try to breathe and focus on the mountain of work I have to accomplish in the next 36 hours.



  1. I like how you said it's sometimes the little things that are harder to deal with because I think that's true too! I'm so glad someone offered to help if you need it, and I'm praying you and Shelbie find some answers.


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