A Poopy Story

Do we need a funny blog post?

Yes we do!

So, Sunday, something happened to Bentley, the dog.  He was not happy but I wasn't sure what his problem was until Monday when his left eye was swollen shut and weepy.  I still didn't know what was wrong but I approached his little health crisis much the way I approach my kids'.

We watched it.  Isn't that what doctors always say to do when they have no clue what they are doing...Just watch it!

Well, the kids were successful at sending me on a guilt trip and before long, I was pretty sure Bentley was going to lose his eye altogether so I caved and called the Vet.

Tuesday, I took him in.

Bentley is the biggest chicken I have ever known!! He starts shaking from a block away!  I held him close as we walked in the door.

There was another owner and their dog checking out so we stood around waiting...and shaking...Bentley was shaking that is... A minute or two passes and a guy with his dog walks in.  As I turn to see who came in...like it's any of my business, I noticed poop on the floor!  Inside, I'm thinking, wow, that dog in front of us just pooped!! I should tell the owner.  Then I thought...Nah...not my problem.  (I'm really into passing the buck these days!) So we just continue to wait our turn.

Soon, they take us to an exam room to wait some more.  The nurse takes his vitals and leaves.  All of a sudden, it smells horrific!! I'm looking all around trying to figure out what smells so bad and there on the floor is poop!!!  Bentley, just lets it go while I'm holding him!!

Of course, I start chewing him out, much the way I would if my kid pooped on the floor.  I set him on the exam table so that I could pick up the poop.  By the way...It stinks.  Really bad!

I get it picked up, turn around, and he has offered it up... on the table! More poop!  How much poop can one little dog have?

Now, I'm not only furious but embarrassed and trying to wave the stench out of the air and get the table cleaned up.
All the while, I'm am angrily muttering under my breath at the dog..."What is your problem?"
"Knock it off!! One more poop out of you and no treats when we get to the car!"
"I'm warning you Bentley, I am NOT in the mood for this! I don't care if your eye is sore! We will leave and you will not get help!"

Of course, it's completely reasonable that I'm speaking to a DOG like this, as if he's going to stand up and apologize or something, beg forgiveness.

I hear the door knob start to turn and I make one more quick swipe through the air to try and rid the poopy smell that is lingering and then of course freeze into a position that looks like I'm just casual, chilling at the Vet's, nonchalantly wipe a little sweat beading up on my brow.

The doctor greets us, we make small talk and Bentley poops...AGAIN!!!
The Vet is so nice, he comes around the table to clean it up and says, "Oh, that's okay.  He's just a scared little pup!" and then we laugh nervously...
"Ya, poor Bentley, he's just scared and not feeling well." I say in my best puppy voice, completely disregarding the fact that I just chewed him out the previous 5 minutes.

The examination commences and it's going well...ooopppss...more poop!

Now, it's not funny.  We are both dying of the smell and then, the doc says, "Listen, I'm going to give you a leash and why don't you and Bentley just take a walk for a bit and then come back."

OMG...I hate this dog!  I was so embarrassed as he left a little trail of poop leaving the office!!  What in the world?  Can you imagine if humans did that when we went to the doctors?  I would be knee deep in poop!

We finally managed to get through the examination and turns out he has torn his cornea!  Sweet.  Nice move Bentley!  Thanks for the fun!  So, it's a week of ointment...and wouldn't ya know it...he has to poop whenever it's ointment time!  What a dog!



  1. That is pretty funny! I can imagine the embarrassment. I hope his eye gets better soon!


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