Sunday, July 3, 2016

Something great is about to happen...

Or is it?

I've decided that we grow up on fables.  We raise our kids on fables; fables or stories that explain the reason for things, the morals of life's lessons.  They seem to make sense, they are comforting and so we invest a lot of hope and a lot of faith in the fables.

I think it is human nature to have this intense desire to make sense of things.  We rush to put meaning on the events of our life, even elbowing God out of the way.  It's especially critical, we think, to do this with the trials that really set us back, test our faith, drain our resources.  We try to silver line it, find the good, express gratitude for the tiniest mercy or blessing.  We feel our way through the dark of the hard times,  holding on to the hidden meanings we search to rescue and puzzle into place.

I've lived my life believing, that if you live all of the commandments, if you are obedient and kind and charitable, your family will be blessed and protected from the adversary.   I believed that to be true so imagine my horror when my tweenager, came to me with a devastating confession of a wrong choice?  My first thought was...this kind of stuff isn't suppose to happen to us! In my less than humble way, proclaimed to God..."We are doing everything right!"  As if he hadn't been paying attention.

I learned a valuable lesson during that time.  Bad things still happen to good people.  It's part of our learning and growth...another little thing we tell ourselves when there is no other way to make sense of it.

If I had a dollar for every time someone said to me or I said to myself...
"Something good is right around the corner."
"This is just a test, it's not going to last forever."
"After the trial come the blessings."
I would be living a much different life.

These are all promising thoughts that lull is into a belief that "This too shall end."  Except, we think that means it's going to end after 6 weeks, maybe 6 months, maybe even a year of trials...but it's going to end and at that end is going to be this brand new, shiny, gleaming, awesome blessing you can scarcely imagine right now and this life of abundance is going to be the new normal. I guess there is some truth to this...I've seen it recently in the people around me.  Clearly, something amazing came from their stint with adversity.

Think about this...

Maybe something great is about to happen but that phrase about to happen...doesn't necessarily mean next week...maybe it means in the next decade, the next two decades...maybe not even in this life.

Noah, Abraham, Joseph and Job...I can relate to.  I don't believe I am in the slow cooker of life because I'm any sort of great leader. I can't even say for sure that waiting in this fiery furnace of affliction is maturing me, or leveling my perspective or broadening my understanding.   I wish I could say for sure how I am being prepared, for what I am being prepared and- if there have been opportunities my way...I'm pretty sure I missed them.

I don't really understand the whys and hows of what God chooses to do with us.  I could speculate but that is just another made up story to make me feel better about things.  It's a strange time and an uncomfortable predicament.  Oh how I wish it could be remedied with a casserole, some chewy chocolate chip cookies and an afternoon at the spa.

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