Wednesday, May 11, 2016

The Ironies of Life

It took Sam 12 years but it finally happened...

He got detention at school!  No joke!  He has had 12 good years to get himself into trouble but he chooses 2 weeks before graduation to land himself in detention.  I laughed and laughed and laughed!  I know, I'm the worst mother!  I should have scolded him and sent him to his room without dinner.  That's why  I only got a 'participation award' on Mother's day!  Ha ha...

 So, I'll tell the story but on the off chance some local teachers read this, please forgive me for what I'm about to say but honestly, I'm not really sorry. It's days like this that keep me going.

He was late for school this morning; according to Sam he walked in the classroom as the tardy bell rang and the teacher sent him to the office which, in itself, cracks me up.  Teachers get bugged when kids come in late because they miss information and disrupt the class, so obviously...the logical thing to do is send them back out, make a big deal out of it, the kid misses more time schlepping down to the office and then make another disturbance when they come back with their detention slip!  Makes so much sense...said no logical parent...EVER!

So, Sam dutifully went to the office and was given the horrible news that he would have to endure lunch detention!  Aww....poor thing.  I asked him what was involved with that, assuming it must have really taught him a good lesson about being tardy he won't dare forget in the next two weeks.

Well, it was shocking what detention detail was like today!  I made Sam an extra special dinner because of what he had to endure; I just felt so sorry for him.

First of all, he had to take his detention slip to the cafeteria so he could budge to the front of the line and get his well balanced, healthy, hot slice of pizza before any of the other kids!  Can you imagine the nerve of the school to make him go first in the lunch line?  He loves having to wait 20 minutes to get his meal normally, because a good dose of indigestion from stuffing lunch in for the remaining 5 minutes since he spent the whole time in line, makes for a great afternoon of learning.

From the cafeteria, he made the leisurely walk to the detention room where a teacher stood guard over the irresponsible juveniles. Sam sat down with the other slackers and enjoyed a quiet lunch.  Afterwards, along with the other juvy's, texted his friends and got caught up on his social media.

Boy, he sure learned his lesson about being tardy.  I don't imagine that will happen ever!  That was rough.   I asked him to tell me what he learned from the experience and there were a plethora of lessons learned, too numerous to list here. Actually, not really.  We had a good laugh at the school's expense.

I asked him why he was late anyways and he blamed me!  He said it was my fault because I made Sticky Buns for breakfast and he couldn't stop eating.  That boy!

Ironically, few years ago, the school district obtained some grant money for the Parenting with Love and Logic classes which they offered free to parents so that we could learn how to discipline our children and help them grow into responsible, law abiding students and citizens.  I took the class twice.  It can be tricky to come up with logical consequences when our kids screw up.  Clearly, the administrators were too busy to attend the class themselves.  Perhaps, if they had of paid attention, it may have dawned on them that their disciplinary action at school leaves a lot to be desired.

This is the second time one of my kids has had detention that was a laugh and a half.   Spencer actually got In- School suspension for an entire day because a teacher dismissed him 15 minutes early, so he went to the gas station for a soda and was spotted by another teacher, clearly sluffing work, and turned him in.

His detention was to go to the track and pick up garbage...all day long.  That hardly  made any sense to me.  So, in my could say passive aggressive way, showed up the next day at detention, around lunch time with three pizzas and some Mountain Dew for Spencer and his friends.

 The counselor was so mad!!  He followed me out to my car and said, "You can't do that!"
"Do what?  Feed my kid and his friends?  It's lunchtime."
"They are in detention! They are being punished."
"So they can't eat?  That's the punishment for being dismissed from class 15 minutes early?"

That was probably the best day ever!

So, some things still haven't changed.  I know I should take this seriously...after all, I should be a responsible adult.  A MOTHER even!  I just can't though.  I'm so done with school.

I swear, I am buying myself a cap and gown and I am going to traipse around town in the get up on graduation day.  This is a huge accomplishment for me to get these kids through public school and 4 years of home school!  I can't even tell you how many late nights, busy work of nonsense, science projects, finding X and Y and studying for useless government tests I have endured.   Mothers should get medals for getting their kids through school.  That's all I'm sayin'.



  1. This is hysterical! I was laughing the whole time I was reading this!! Thank you for posting, something that I thought many years ago when Jake got ISS and had to clean up at the Jr. High with the friends he had lunch with. Seriously I think you are a great MOM, so keep on rocking on, you are amazing.

  2. Thanks for the laughs. It was so therapeutic, I should pay you.