Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Before you know it...

I feel like the days are flying by at warp speed lately.  I'm so far behind on blogging for a host of reasons but the big one this week is mostly kids.

Spencer leaves on his 3 week long backpacking, hiking trip across the Pacific Northwest and Canada.  I haven't had to do much to help him get ready but I am doing what I do best...meddling.  Calling him every day, reminding him to pack underwear!  Just kidding...I've been rounding up travel insurance, duffle bags, coolers, passport, and of course muffins and cookies.  I've been baking away and freezing things so these guys don't go hungry.  They leave bright and early in the morning and then I get to spend the next three weeks pacing the floor hoping he doesn't get hypothermia, fall off a cliff, get chased by a bear, eaten by a mountain lion, trampled by a moose...you get the picture.  Not only that, he has threatened me with dreadlocks and a beard!  The two things I hate most in life...unless it's a cool beard and I've really only seen two cool beards in my life, maybe three!  That boy!   At least he's living his dream.

Sam is getting down to the wire for graduating.  I will be on homework patrol every night for the next two weeks.  He is so close to getting all the extra classes done.  The night of graduation, I will be having my own little bonfire to celebrate me graduating from High School 4 times!  I'm so very sick of public school.  Every night, I remember how glad I am that God didn't bless me with a dozen kids.  I would be a wreck by now...worse than I am.  This weekend is his 18th birthday and Prom! Yikes!

Shelbie has not been feeling good yesterday and today.  She's been sleeping a lot and in a bit of pain. Not much to report on her.  I have been in constant communication with the National Institute of Health.  Our box of testing material should be here in the next day or two.  They had their big meeting last week.  I think I mentioned that.  The following day, they called to let me know what transpired.  Dr. Blanche Alter was in attendance.  Ask any Hematologist if they know Dr. Alter and most of them do.  She is the leading researcher on bone marrow failure syndromes.  I believe her focus has been on Fanconi Anemia but they all sort of overlap in one way or another.  Apparently, her and Dr. Shimamura in Boston have a meeting planned to go over what they know so far about our genetics and where to go next to try to find a way to help Shelbie.  They feel confident that Shelbie's gene mutation will be found.

It still amazes me how fast time is moving.  I can hardly keep up with life.  So often my thoughts are consumed with days gone by.  May always does this to me.  Today would have been my 25th Wedding Anniversary.  It is always a day of reflection.  I don't grieve my marriage like I use to but there is still a great deal of regret and wonder.   A lot of time spent thinking about the things that were good for many years and wishing that maybe things could have been different. For the first time, I feel like the kids are in a way better place about the divorce than they have ever been too.  It's been a challenging 11 years doing this alone and while I feel like a screw up sometimes, a lot of the time, I can't help but remember how terrified I was as I looked at my house, my life, my marriage from the rearview mirror.  I didn't think we would last a month with me in charge and no help.  But here we are...a little tattered and torn but not bad considering what we have survived.  I'm actually a little proud of myself for proving the world wrong.  Kids raised by divorced parents don't always become drug addicted hoodlums.  Sometimes, they become pretty great human beings...and all before you know it!


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