Saturday, April 23, 2016

Go Figure

There are some days in which I feel I have everything figured out.  I feel close to the spirit, I feel inspired and then mysteriously, it all changes and I feel lost and confused.  I am in the lost and confused stage most of the time.

I will say this, even during the times when things feel harder than usual, I can still feel the faint whispering of goodness and Godliness in our life.

On Wednesday afternoon, when we were through with Oncology, Shelbie got incredibly agitated and upset but instead of verbalizing her thoughts, she just simmered in them for a good little while.  Enough, that when I inadvertently said something that was misinterpreted, everything blew up!  This seems to be the norm for me anymore, people misjudging me, not liking the way I handle my life, suggesting I need to do 'life' differently; who knows what is up with that but it's getting to be a nuisance for me.

We tried to talk things out but she didn't understand me and she gave up the dialogue long before I could grasp what she was saying.   At this point, we were in the hotel so I told her to sleep it off and I was going to find a park to sit in and do nothing and I would come back for her later.  Well, she didn't want to be left alone but honestly, I wanted to be alone because I didn't like the tension between us.  But...she came.  In fact, she directed me to this obscure park in Downtown Salt Lake.

Gilgal Sculpture Garden.  It was actually what we both needed; a Heavenly intervention.  The park is tiny but full of interesting sculptures depicting scriptures from the Bible and verses from hymns.  It helped center us and calm things down.  I was so glad for that.  We both had a change in perspective and heart.   Mostly I'm glad that Shelbie was able to be calm enough to communicate her fears and worries so I could actually help her carry the burden she feels.


The park is covered in these engraved stepping stones of scripture and song,  This one was a good reminder, "See What God Hath Done."

My favorite Hymn- God moves in a mysterious way




This weekend, I am pretty much exhausted.  I think I'm just fighting something...fighting with myself right now.  That must be it.


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