Tuesday, February 16, 2016

What will become of me...

I'm no stranger to people who have been through something big.  Big things like, staring down their own mortality or that of a loved one.  I have been privileged, in many cases, to share in their trial.  In many ways, I feel like this has been a gift from my Father in Heaven.

Lately, I have seen how certain people have been placed along my way to learn from.  It seems that there has been a steady stream of them.  I have been thinking about each one and what I can learn from them.

For some, I have found that they are meek and humble.  They don't draw attention to the struggles they have had.  They quietly go about their life and carry with them the hurt and suffering they felt from the past, in a tender wrapping of peace.  A genuine peace.  I like to think they are changed for the better.  They have a reverence about them that is nearly indescribable.  Something, I can be jealous of if I'm not careful.

There are some who show the wear and tear of life on their faces, in their attitudes.  They feel worn out and put upon. Little things become big things and big things become tsunamis of overwhelm.  They exist. That's about all they can manage. They are allowed to show how tough life has been for them, yet have little patience and empathy when someone else feels the same degree of toughness to life.

Some again, expect the world to make up for the shortcomings and losses they faced.  They seem to control everyone around them in a passive aggressive way.  They want pay back.  They think they deserve better and expect better and expect that nothing bad should ever happen again.  They become takers, not givers.  They take emotionally, mentally and physically.  When things get tough, you hear about it.  There is always underlying current that life is not fair.

I'm not judging any one of these people.  On any given day, at any given moment, I can see some of me in each of them.  It scares me.  I spend more time than I should pondering on this idea.

So, what will become of me...

I hope that I become better, not bitter from the lessons of life.
I hope that I will become stronger
I hope I will be meek, mild, humble...patient
I hope that I will become refined, graceful and grateful
I hope that I never disregard the stories of others
I hope that I become a beacon of light
I hope that I am a person where people can drop their own trials at my feet and receive some care and      love before picking them back up and moving on.
I hope I never become selfish and centered only on myself
I hope that people come to know God because they knew me.

I have such a long way to go. Not a day goes by that I'm not trying to become a better person.  I'm sorry when I don't measure up to what I think I should be or want to be.

So...in all my little burdens, I will continue to work on me.  Work on becoming a better me.


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1 comment:

  1. You're doing better than you think. Thank you for being you, and becoming you.

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