Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Oh The Places You'll Go

I did not sleep well last night...Dr. Seuss was looping through my head. All. Night. Long.

Oh, the places you'll go...How in the world did we get here?

It's so hard to believe that Shelbie was once so small!  So innocent.  I love this picture of her when she was two years old.  It was taken just a couple of weeks before her first major seizure which left her unconscious and her first ambulance ride, and  kicked off 6 more years of multiple, major seizures... and a picture taken just a month before Spencer was born.  It's a picture that marks the start of her platelet and immune issues, though at the time, I had no idea the gravity of it all. It's a picture that speaks volumes, a thousand words of what we were in for.  In two years she had already endured much and had already experienced a quick trip to the other side of the veil when her heart stopped at just two weeks old.  It hasn't been an easy life for this girl of mine!


In 2009, after 9 months of chemotherapy in 2007, she was asked to sing for the survivor's lap at Relay for Life.  I was asked to speak at the event about trials and adversity and she followed with a song called, Ordinary Miracle by Sarah McLachlan.  I adore these pictures of Shelbie.  I love those eyes that shine!  That smile!

 

Here we are...still surviving!

This girl is beyond me in strength and courage, hope and light!  I look at her with the deepest reverence a mother can have for her child.  I don't even see anymore as my child.  She is MY ordinary miracle.

So...here we go.  I like to think I know what is going to unfold for us in the next 24-48 hours and beyond, but we are stepping into dark places.  Scary places.  Holy places.  Sad places.  Crying places....We have been led to...GREAT PLACES!

“You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!” 
― Dr. SeussOh, The Places You'll Go!

“You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.” 
― Dr. SeussOh, The Places You’ll Go!

“And when you're alone there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.” 
― Dr. SeussOh, The Places You'll Go!

We are ready for the next mountain that stands in our way.  I know we will be mixed up, confused and maybe even lost for a minute or two but we will find our way back to where we need to be. I am already scared out of my pants and don't know how I am going to get through this.   Already this morning has been hard.  I had a presentation a little earlier and another one coming up.  Shelbie left early with her dad and I will be leaving later, after I get Sam situated.

Ahhh...Sam.  The timing of this is crummy.  He is coming apart with a major presentation he has to make at school.  It pretty much determines if he graduates or not.  He has been stressed and extremely anxious.  He can't even focus on anything else and now I have to leave him all alone!  I'm so upset about that.  He presents in the morning so if you have room for some extra prayers, he could use them.  This learning disability he has to deal with doesn't make things like this easy at all.  He's pretty upset and vulnerable right now.  I just wish we didn't have to be separated at a time like this.

I will be happy to see Spencer.  Emotional, if the truth be told. He started back up on the vancomycin today for the C-diff, and really hope he can feel better soon.  I will have to assess him while we are there and see if there is anything more I can do for him.

Here we go...wish us luck.  Someone asked me what they should pray for...Pray for the doctor.  Pray he has wisdom.  Pray he listens to the spirit.  Pray for Shelbie to be strong, accepting, courageous, brave...Just pray for my kids to be held tightly in the arms of their Savior and God.  That's all.  I don't even really care if God fixes this at all...I just want them to be safe.
Photobucket

1 comment:

  1. I always want to say something after reading your thoughts so beautifully written and expressed, but I never know what to say. It seems there are no words adequate for what it is you all are faced with. I pray for your family often but I will say an extra prayer tonight for Shelbie, for Sam, for Spencer, and for you.

    ReplyDelete