Friday, January 29, 2016

Patience and Prayer

This week!  I tell you...the energy it takes to be patient and pray is astounding.

Patience and prayer in some ways, goes against my grain.  I'm a mover and a shaker.  I make things happen.  I don't sit around, ever.  I have been trying the past few years to really focus on the will of God, especially when it comes to things I can not change or can not control.  It is a trial in itself.

Honestly, yesterday was a shambles.  Just a downright messy mess of a mess.  The day was being fueled by frustration, fatigue and anger, not faith.  Nothing close to faith.

This morning, I said my prayers.  Do you ever feel like prayer is just an exercise in passive laziness? (Yes, I meant to be redundant) What I really want to be doing is knocking heads together, making mean and angry phone calls, getting appointments set up, screwing the insurance protocols...This isn't just anyone we are talking about here, we are talking about my daughter.  My little girl.  My flesh and blood.  An amazing human being with a spirit as strong as anyone I know.  A young woman with a heart of gold who has been through way more than most adults who lived to the ripe old age of 90. Don't they know?  Don't  they know how precious she is to me?  If they did, they would be hurrying to find out what is causing her so much pain and distress.

Despite all the feelings I am having.  I said a humble, patient prayer, conscious to align my spirit with God's.  Pleading if at all possible, we could get a plan underway.

Then, I heard that an acquaintance of mine just found out two weeks ago that her husband has lymphoma and started treatment earlier this week already with the same doctor that has literally been ignoring us.  I was heartbroken and just sad.

But...I steadied my heart and continued to do the only thing I can do...counsel with the Lord in everything.  Every thought, every worry, every bitter moment that comes.

Finally...Our family doctor had his nurse call to tell me that they had faxed all of Shelbie's records to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance and sent the insurance referral.  Just minutes after that, the nurse co-ordinator emailed me that she had received medical records for the past year and is preparing to get us on the schedule and get another bone marrow biopsy scheduled in Seattle.

Now...I want to cry in relief.  Even though prayer seems so passive, it holds more power than any other force known to man!

In other news...I have a big surprise planned for my sweet Shelbie. It is to end the last day of my 29 Gifts project!  She loves themed hotel rooms.  I called my Wasband and we talked about it and together, we have reserved an Italian themed hotel room!  Little Bear and I will be going to set up the room with dinner gift cards, movie passes, baskets of treats and drinks.  A little overnight getaway to just have fun and forget this week even happened!

Shelbie has plans with her best friend tonight but I told her I really needed her to stay home tonight.  She got a little upset at first because her best friend is leaving for a few months this coming Wednesday but she conceded.  Little does she know...her best friend will be spending the whole weekend with her at the hotel and having fun!   I'm so excited...it's like someone opened the window to let some fresh air in this stuffy, suffocating little week we have had!



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