Wednesday, September 9, 2015

We've all gone mad

There is a major element of 'crazy' when your entire life is up in the air.  A kind of crazy you really can't do anything about and well...that's just crazy!

The entire situation with Spencer is all encompassing.  I didn't realize how much time it would actually consume.  Aside from his health issues, we are dealing with life issues.  He's been trying to get into school, which he actually was accepted.  So, now it's been trying to get registered at the 11th hour with all of the prereq. classes required are filled, find housing and the job he was 'expecting', 'promised', whatever that was, is looking more and more like maybe it won't happen.  Without a job, or a place to live how can school materialize.  Classes start in 5 days!!  5 days people!  We have 5 days to find a dwelling in another State, get an apartment outfitted, beg all the teachers to let him add the credits, figure out how to pay for an apartment, school etc.  find a job...in 5 days!  Yes, we are going mad, and we need a miracle or two.

I've been networking like crazy for housing options.  Today, we spent no less than 6 hours trying to get registered, find scholarships, pell grants, blah, blah, blah.

My inside voice tells me this is ridiculous.  Nothing is going to work.  This must not be the right plan if it all has to be so hard....

My spirit is saying...be patient.  Let the plan unfold.  Trust in the Lord...  It's easy to say, hard to do all the time.

We just don't know what the right thing is.  I am trying to let Spencer run his life and decide for himself.  It's definitely a stress that is getting to him.  If nothing works out, then he stays home and tries to find a job here and come up with a plan b.

In my head, I think he needs to stay home while we get on top of the health issues.  He is doing only slightly better.  I asked him yesterday on a scale from 1-10 how he is feeling compared to the night he ended up in the ER and he said he was at a 5 or 6.   If 10 was the worst...this is better.

I've been ask if it's really a smart thing to send him off to live on his own, manage work, school, medical stuff, cook for himself- a special diet at that.  Well, It's not about what is smart and what is not.  I have always taught my kids to seize the moment. Life life the best you can.  Sitting around at home waiting to get better or get worse seems so unproductive.  We have to keep moving forward.  Moving forward in faith...

So, in the meantime, while we wait for a plan to come into focus, we try to maintain our sanity.


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