Sunday, September 20, 2015

I could care less

Something magical happens in your 40's  or maybe it happens when life is too hectic or filled with chronic problems, or maybe it happens because we finally start to  grow up and'get it'.  Whatever 'it' is.

I have found that I could care less sometimes...

I care less about deadlines.

I care less about gossip.

I care less about judging others...myself...God.

I care less about your business.

I care less about being happy.

I care less about the mean people in my world.

I care less about the passive aggressive people in my world.

I care less about what you think of me.

I care less about what I should be doing.

I care less about what I could be doing.

I care less about a clean house, a tidy yard.

I care less about being my best.

In all of my caring less...there is room to care more.

I care more about doing what I can whether it meets a deadline or not.

I care more about the quiet battles of people around me.

I care more about just trying to understand myself, and give others and God that same degree of effort in understanding them.

I care more about my own business and less about yours and even less about God's.  All I can manage is my business of trying to live a life that God intended for me to live.  God's plan is underway and caring about his business only complicates mine.  What you do with your life, is your business, not mine...thank goodness!

I care more about being real.  Authentic.  It's been over 40 years of trying to figure this out. It may be a happy day, or it may not be but it's going to be real...that's for sure.

I care more about the people who can empathize than the ones who take every opportunity to judge and harass me with their judgments sprinkled with falsettos of support and kindness.

I care more about what I think of myself

I care more about enough. There will always be shoulds and coulds.  I'm working on enough.

I care more about doing my best...that's different than being the best.

I have found that life is so full of everything.  There are so many places to put our cares. The older I get, the more I realize, I can't care about everything or everyone.    I have wasted so much time checking outside of me to the vast buffet of life instead of checking in every now and again to see how things are going inside of me.

I have to admit, I don't always like the things I find when I check in with myself.  There are feelings so seemingly contrary to the person I think I am or at least, perfecting to be.  There are fears that can roar so loud, I hear nothing else.

I'm learning to accept what is.  Let life carry me along as I continue to learn, grow and care less.


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