Sunday, August 16, 2015

Life Goes On

I heard this all familiar saying today...Life goes on.

It is a statement of truth.  Life goes on no matter what you happen to be going through, have gone through or will go through.

I remember so clearly, the day we walked out of the Oncology office just over a year ago, after getting blood drawn on Shelbie and Sam to send off for confirmation of Dyskeratosis Congenita.   The nurse had inadvertently handed me the wrong paperwork and I saw the diagnosis from the research lab. Something that legally, I was not suppose to see.

As I pushed through the front doors, the mid-day sun magnified a glaring reality on the world around me.  I was facing what felt like the worst news we had ever received and my world was cloudy yet everyone around me, seemed to be enjoying their world in the sun; even the people coming out from a chemotherapy treatment seemed more at ease with life than I was in that moment.

I remember looking down the street to line of kids waiting for ice cream at the new food truck.  Driving home, the park was filled with families having fun, playing, laughing.  The radio station still cranked out the tunes that made everyone tap a toe or move to the beat.

'How can these people be going on with life?' was the thought that percolated through my numb mind.   My life had seemingly stopped.  It was a moment that would forever define my life. This oncology visit became a dog eared page in the book of life that I would somehow keep going back to and re-reading the fine print it left in my I did today.

Over a year later, life continues it's rhythm; albeit syncopated and paused at times, but nevertheless a rhythm we have adjusted to.  Are adjusting to.

Over a year later, I can see that that distant day in the past was not the worst day ever.  It wasn't the best day either.  It was a day that left us in pieces.  Little bits of what we were once familiar with seemed even more fractured. Somehow, life goes on in those little bits and pieces that fell away that day. that happens.  Funny how life goes on even when you can't see any possible way for it to do so.


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