Friday, June 12, 2015

Philosophy on life

Today, I was reminded about my philosophy on life.

1.  Do what you can.
2.  Live without regret

Do what you can...There are so many things in life that I am discovering I cannot control.  I hate that!  So, it becomes very important for me to look for the things that I do have some influence, choice, control...call it what you may.

 I can't control the hardships of people around me but there is always something I can do to show love and support to them.  I can't change the disease my kids have, but I can take measures to keep them as healthy as possible.

There's always something to do...so do what you can.

Live without regret...The worst phrase I have ever heard is...YOU SHOULD HAVE... or I WISH I HAD OF...regret sucks.  I do everything in my power to live without regret.  I find that as long as I am following the philosophy from above, then I don't have to face regret.

I have had experiences in my life that I am not happy about, proud of or really want to be reminded of but...I don't regret them.   I can honestly look back at those times and know that I did what I could to make the most out of it.

People often ask me if I regret getting divorced.  Obviously, staying married would have been my preference if the marriage was one of contentment, peace, understanding...blah, blah, blah...but it wasn't,   I did the best I could at the time.  We took our marriage apart as gently as possible and we came together in the interest of the kids.  I changed, He changed.  We are better for it.  So...no regrets.

Today, I had my lovely mammogram and ultrasound.  I have fibrocystic breast disease and have had for 10 years.  In the past 5 years, I have had to have 3 lumpectomies.  The lumps never showed up on the mammogram but on the ultrasound.  With each surgery, I asked my trusty surgeon if I had just been overly cautious by having them removed.  With each one, he said, "Absolutely NO!"  In fact, he stated that we would have fewer cases of breast cancer if women and their doctors were more aggressive. Two of those were showing early signs of becoming cancerous because of the way the cells were changing.

So...I'm not interested in playing around with the wait and see approach.  Remember...No regrets!

Well, after the mammogram, they have the radiologist check the films before proceeding with the ultrasound.  Today, the tech came back and said the radiologist wasn't going to let me do the ultrasound because the mammogram was stable from last year...I have several calcifications showing up which almost always progress to cancer but they are stable.

I told her I didn't agree with his decision and since he knows nothing about my history, my situation now, I wanted the ultrasound and my doctor agrees because she wrote the orders for one.  She went back and still he said, "No".  That's a bunch of crap!  As if I'm going to let some cavalier doctor who thinks they have a license to play God, dictate how I choose to take care of my body.

I told the tech I would just reschedule the ultrasound.  She said, "Well, that's going to be hard to get it through your insurance now since he already dictated it wasn't necessary."
"It's been less than 5 minutes and he's already completed the dictation and that's that?"
"Yes."

I marched over to my doctor's office and explained what was happening and they were not happy!

Now...I have to fight.

At first, I thought I should just keep quiet but I kept coming back to my philosophy on life.  I'm not going to back down on this one.  I would much rather be proactive when it comes to health than listen to any doctor.  The extent of their knowledge lies in the pages of a text book written by someone else who still only had limited knowledge.  I know my body.  I know what needs to happen.  I know I'm not going to be the woman who hears the words..."If only we had caught this sooner..."

Not today!!

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1 comment:

  1. apparently iodine supplementation has helped some people with fibrocystic breast disease. just putting it out there in case you had not heard of that. no idea how well it really works. Best Wishes to you, your kids and family!

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