Saturday, May 30, 2015

You never know

Man, I feel like everyday is filled with loss or bad news of some sort.  It makes me count my blessings more than once.

About a week and a half ago, Spencer's best friend was involved in a serious car accident while serving his mission in South Africa.  He was driving and when another car veered into his lane, he reacted quickly by trying to avoid a head on collision and turned the car.  Unfortunately, they sustained a head on crash and the impact threw the car into the sidewalk where it struck a pedestrian.   The pedestrian was killed.

Everyone in B's car had injuries of some sort but none of them life threatening which is amazing considering there was absolutely no front end left to that car.  B had multiple breaks in his leg.  He sustained the greatest injuries.

He was flown out of the country where he was serving and to Johannesburg so he could get better medical care.  He had surgery and plates, screws and pins were put in place.  The plan was that he would come home this week so he could be taken care of.  He was due to be released from his full time mission in two weeks anyways, so coming home two weeks early isn't too bad.

Well, it's complicated.  He is being charged by the prosecuting attorney with Manslaughter.  In Africa, it doesn't matter what the circumstances are, if you kill a man with your vehicle, even if you aren't at fault, it's manslaughter.  Because of this, B is not allowed to come home until the legal situation has been resolved so he is staying in Johannesburg for now.  Can you imagine?  Can you just imagine what that is feeling like to him and his parents?  I am sickened when I think about this.

I've done a lot of reflecting on life.  I thought how blessed and lucky we are.  In fact, I was telling someone that I worry what is coming next because things have been going so well since Spencer left.

Well, Shelbie was standing beside me and said, "Are you freaking kidding me?  Things are going so well?  Are we living in the same house?"

Her line of questioning caught me off guard...I had to stop and think about all the bad things she might possibly be referring to.  And then....I remembered.

Still, even remembering the hard times we have experienced, I feel so blessed!  Blessed in so many ways.  I suppose the reason why I have felt this is because of the Atonement.  The enabling power of the Atonement.  The mysterious way that Jesus Christ's mental anguish in Gethsemane and his physical suffering on the cross, allows me to have my own burdens lifted so that even I don't feel them upon my shoulders.

I realize there are moments when I am overcome with sadness, worry and grief but those moments pass.  It's nothing short of a miracle that I can literally feel like my life is not too least this week.  My kids are safe.  My kids are happy.  My kids are feeling okay.  I get to be their mother here on earth.  I have somehow managed to work 14 hour days the last two despite feeling very sick and very weak.  I got to be in the temple this, it's all good.

You never know when these fleeting moments of contentment will give way to a feeling of another variety but for now. I'll take it. I can promise you this...the winds of change and uncertainty are blowing in but I feel confident in the plan of my Father in Heaven and I know whatever is coming will bring with it a measure of blessings and angels, straight from Heaven.


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