Friday, May 29, 2015

How Shall We Grow...

Yesterday was my first full day of work since getting sick two weeks ago.  It was rough.  I am wiped out! But at the same time, it was a good day.  Nothing changed really but my mindset.

Bruce Kramer, a professor at the University of St. Thomas, upon hearing the news that he was dying of ALS said this, "How shall we grow into the demands that are beyond us?"

I have not stopped thinking about that phrase.  He went on to talk about how we use the word 'fighting' to describe what we do when faced with a health crisis.  We fight it.  We are fighters.

I thought about this further, we really fight everything.  We fight disease, but we also fight against ourselves.  We fight our feelings of fear, guilt, shame, overwhelm...we want to feel nothing but happy and content and anything contrary to that requires a fight.

What would happen if we stopped fighting?

What would happen if we just chose to be accepting?  Did the needful thing?  Lived in the moment?  Gave ourselves permission to feel whatever surfaces in the moment?  That might mean we actually had to be honest instead of fronting our way through a very difficult life? Gosh...what would that be like?

When we feel tired...we rest instead of fighting to stay awake.
When we feel rushed... we slow down instead of fighting against time that we can no more demand it slow down than force it to pass quicker.
When we feel sad...we be sad instead of applying superficial band aids of happiness.

Yesterday...I tried to live this question...How shall I grow into the demands that are beyond me?

Well, I was accepting of my situation.  Knowing full well it would be a physically demanding day, I tried to be mindful of the moments when I needed to rest and the moments when I could push forward just a little.

When anxiety over certain things bubbled up, I  acknowledged it and rather than fight against it, gave myself permission to feel it.  It's amazing how quickly it dissolves when you can look at it for what it is, then come back to the moment.

Above all, I was more grateful than usual.  I fully realize that things are happening in my life that I didn't choose, I don't want but somehow I need.  With that, comes the realization that if God is going to bring me to it, he will surely bring me through it.  I felt great comfort today knowing that when things are beyond my comprehension or skill set to solve, there is a God making it all right and getting me through.

How will you grow into the demands of your day?


1 comment:

  1. Thank you for posting this. I really needed to hear this today!