Monday, December 8, 2014

Kept by God

In keeping with our tradition of being weird and was another very weird day.

I received an email this morning from the Mission Office where Spencer is serving and someone broke in over the weekend and stole and vandalized and opened the majority of Christmas gifts that had been sent by families of the Sisters and Elders serving.  They assume the robbers were looking for money, gift cards and valuable items.  They asked each family to call and report what they had sent and the color of wrapping paper it was in.

When I saw that I cried and cried and cried.  I worked so hard on a book I made for him.  I'm not really sure exactly why I was so upset.  I'm not the type to get attached to anything, especially stuff you can buy in a store.  And, it's not like I sent him a nice gift like a GoPro or anything like that.  I think I have just been so tired this year and it's kind of been a series of unfortunate events lately, I was just struck with feelings of overwhelm.  It was like the last straw.

I feel bad for overreacting and not taking an hour or so to realize that this is not a big deal.  I think I've become a reactor since being a mom.  I can literally pinpoint the first time I was traumatized by something big and I'm pretty sure it rewired my brain to always be on high alert and quick to respond.
The Mission President also asking me to identify what I bought for him and the paper I wrapped it in was also a problem.  I bought Spencer's gifts over a month ago and had a hard time remembering what I had sent.  Another side effect of living the life of chronic illness.  I just don't remember things like I use to.  I can't afford to hold on to menial things with so much going on.   Thank goodness, I had a picture of the wrapped gifts I could send.

Here's a little funny part I'll interject here...cause you can never have too much funny...right?

I didn't wrap his presents in Christmas wrap!!!  They are green and white polka dot!  Ha ha...when I told the mission secretary, she started laughing.  I did too.  I was actually a little embarrassed that they weren't looking more festive but then she said,  "Well, if they are still here and still wrapped, we won't have a hard time finding them among all the other Christmas paper!"

I feel like I need to explain.  Every Christmas, I buy a huge roll of generic paper so that I can use it for Christmas and then throughout the whole next year.  It's being thrifty and creative and I hate having a hundred rolls of wrapping paper falling out of the closet.  I thought the red and white striped butcher twine added a festive touch!

Anyways, once I settled back down to reality, I thought what a perfect lesson this is for our family.  Spencer has been so excited about the new Christmas video the church has published called, He is the Gift.  He even said a week ago that for his Christmas present, he wanted me to post that video on my FB wall, which I did.   For Spencer, I know that he knows that Jesus is the gift and that is enough.

I called the mission home back and emailed them as well and let them know that whatever gifts, if any, they are able to recover for Spencer, I want them to give them away to other missionaries that are in need.  I know that Spencer would want this and I want this.

I feel like this is just another postcard from Heaven.  Another reminder that it's not enough to say I believe that Jesus is the gift, I have to live that. In the grand scheme of things, it's all just stuff that Spencer would more than likely give away anyhow.  He always gives his stuff away and I'm proud of him for that!  He learned something growing up in this family!!

Last Christmas, I bought him a beautiful new, wool pea coat that cost quite a bit of money.  I also bought a really cheap overcoat from China for $8 I thought he could use for service projects in the cold weather when he might get dirty.  Well, he gave his companion, who didn't have a coat at all, the really nice pea coat and kept the $8 coat for himself.  He's been wearing it ever since I guess, I've never heard him complain that he was cold.

I also remembered when we were robbed in 1998.  We had everything we owned in a storage unit because we were in between houses and living in my parent's motor home.  Shelbie had been at Primary Children's with a platelet count of 1, Sam was only 5 months old and it was getting cold and snowing.  I went to our storage unit to get the kids winter coats and discovered that someone had cut the lock off and took all but a couple pick up trucks loads of stuff.  At first I was devastated but I learned a lesson I knew I would never forget!

I swore I would never be attached to my stuff ever again!! And, I'm really not.  My house reflects just simple, stuff and if it got all cleaned out today by a robber,  I wouldn't even care! None of it worth much, especially to me.

So, it's been a humbling day.  Another lesson learned.  I'm not special, or extra-ordinary...just trying to do what's right, one hard thing at a time.  We have some crazy things happen to us but like the quote on Spencer's book says:

Our Family is a of strength, founded on faith, joined in love and kept by God.

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