Thursday, December 11, 2014

Christmas Carols that aren't

I've been doing a lot of Christmas music listening.  I spend so much time at the computer, I need something to keep my groove going so I turn on Pandora.  This time of year, I'm obviously hitting up the Christmas stations.  Every year, I hear the same old songs that are trying to pass themselves off as Christmas tunes.  Just because a song mentions snow, or Christmas doesn't mean it's a Christmas carol.  Here are my top 5 songs that shouldn't be played at Christmas.

Frozen...Anything from Frozen.  The movie has nothing to do with Christmas.  Just because they sing about building a snowman and fractals of whatever, doesn't mean we should add that to the repertoire.  Unless you are my favorite little 3 year old, I don't want to hear that song anymore.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year-  Okay, this song isn't bad but what's up with the line, 'Scary Ghost Stories'?  And who roasts marshmallows in December, on Christmas? I would like to meet one family who sits around on Christmas telling ghost stories while roasting marshmallows.  I think Andy Williams just ran out of rhyming words by the time he got to the chorus.

Last Christmas-  This song drives me crazy!  'Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but the very next day, you gave it away.  This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special.'  The song is a sad tale of desperation that should probably be played on the late night, love song tributes John Tesh attempts to do.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus- This is just plain traumatic to a kid who still believes in the big guy.  It's totally giving Santa a bad rap.  Santa is suppose to just sneak in, spy on you to see if you're sleeping or if you're awake, (which is also a bit creepy but somehow, we grew up accepting this truth), leave the bag of goods and head out!  Not stand around kissing your mom! It's not right.

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer- Who wrote this song??  This grandma deserved to get run over.  She was clearly a drunk and mixing medication with alcohol is just asking for trouble.  You know if you are a bit tipsy, you don't stand a chance against 8 reindeer who fly.  You just don't. There is nothing joyful or Christmasy about this song.

Grandma Got Run Over
By A Reindeer

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog
And we'd begged her not to go
But she'd left her medication
So she stumbled out the door into the snow

When they found her Christmas mornin'
At the scene of the attack
There were hoof prints on her forehead
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now were all so proud of Grandpa
He's been takin' this so well
See him in there watchin' football
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle

It's not Christmas without Grandma
All the family's dressed in black
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of pig
And a blue and silver candle
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig

I've warned all my friends and neighbors
Better watch out for yourselves
They should never give a license
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe!

 I have a few more on my list of songs I can't stand but rather than go on, I will leave you with one bonus song.  The goofiest song of all...12 Days of Christmas!  This song is so annoying but I love it. There are so many different versions of this song but this one is my favorite!


 

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1 comment:

  1. I totally agree!! Why is it that those songs are the ones that are always stuck in our head! We have watched that video over and over and totally love it!!

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